4 Must-Make Cocktails on this Loveless Valentine's Day

By Garrett Eklof
Posted in The Field Guide to Drinking in America, on February 13, 2017

’Tis the season to be together — happy, hopeful, and in love — and not alone in a very dark room, with your jade plant, wondering what could’ve been as you stalk your perfectly engaged ex on Instagram. Getting out there is hard — especially when “out there” is out of the house — so here are 4 cocktails to help take that edge off. Come on, let’s celebrate! It’s VALENTINE’S DAY.

Earl Grey Tea Cocktail

1) Earl Grey Tea Cocktail

There are zero social stipulations holding you back today (though there may be legal: if you have to go into work, or in any way operate heavy machinery, we at Overcup Press encourage you to first flip through Niki Ganong's The Field Guide to Drinking in America to see if there are laws in your state that discourage you from beginning the day with this as your breakfast). While Mimosas are marvelous, this little caffeinated cocktail will give you the spark that you need to keep awake, rather than simply sleeping away your companionless misery. For those with morning responsibilities, it’s a fantastic precursor to a long, energetic evening of wholly liberated libation.

 Ingredients:

  • 6 ounces cold Earl Grey tea
  • 1 1/4 ounces gin
  • 1 1/4 ounces honey
  • 1/2 ounce fresh-squeezed lemon juice
  • 2 lavender sprigs

Directions:

Brew a big batch of Earl Grey tea. Store in refrigerator to cool. Put ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake. Strain. Garnish with lavender. Add additional gin, depending on degree of emotional necessity.

Cowboy Coffee

2) Cowboy Coffee

For those who prefer their morning/afternoon/evening coffee — or really just want something that looks great in a champagne flute — get yourself kickstarted with this broncobuster instead. Not exclusive to cattlemen, three strong sips of this and you’ll be out the door swinging those hips, uninhibitedly lassoing in deep, everlasting affections.

 Ingredients:

  • 2 dark roast coffee beans
  • 2.5 ounces whiskey
  • 0.5 ounces Demerara syrup
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Directions:

Crush the coffee beans in a shaker. Put other ingredients in said shaker with ice. Shake. Strain (into champagne flute!) Squeeze in a lemon peel, and an additional coffee bean for added swagger. Yeehaw!

Sex In The Driveway

3) Sex In The Driveway

Of course there are no guarantees, and we at Overcup can’t speak to personal lifestyle preference, but if you’re looking to leapfrog ‘loose and alert’ and dive right into full-blown Valentine’s Day spontaneity, check out this concoction. A slight deviation from it’s iconic counterpart Sex On The Beach, this drink is fast — it requires no shaking or mixing — and wildly refreshing. If you’re not one for Sprite you can swap it with a sophisticated sparkling seltzerLeave the cranberry reds and raspberry pinks for those tied-down lovebirds; today, you’re out the door, and in the driveway, and blue - is - so - YOU.

 Ingredients:

  • 1 ounce peach schnapps
  • 1 ounce blue curaçao
  • 2 ounces vodka (or white rum)
  • Sprite or a more sophisticated sparkling seltzer

 Directions:

Take a highball glass of crushed ice, pour in the ingredients, top off with Sprite. Stir. Garnish with lemon wheel. Walk out to driveway. Sip slowly from a sexy straw.

Grasshopper

4) Grasshopper

Okay — you got out there — you left the house, had a few ‘on-the-house’ vodka-lemonades, united with the bartender on the existential importance of living single until your slurred words began to quiver, and you bowed your head to ugly-sob all over the loveless wasteland that is your Tinder profile. With exceptional haste, Uber Lyft drops you off, unaccompanied, in your driveway. It’s not that you’re drunk — you just need one last pick-me-up. Go ahead, get your comfort chocolate fix. It’s Valentines Day. You’ve earned it, Grasshopper.

Ingredients:

  • 1 ounce green crème de menthe
  • 1 ounce white crème de cacao
  • 1 ½ ounces heavy cream
  • grated Valrhona chocolate

Directions:

Shake and double strain in a glass. Garnish with grated Valrhona. Wiggle into covers. Nod off while watching your favorite romantic comedy — one hand cradling the drink, the other finger stroking your ever dependable jade plant.

 

You did it! You actually had a (relatively) successful Valentine’s Day! Looking for more cocktails that are must-make and applicable to each and every one of the fifty States? Remember to check out Niki Ganong’s The Field Guide to Drinking in America!